I need help removing her.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
