Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
