The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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