That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
