is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
