$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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