Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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