isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
