Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
