Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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