I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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