Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
being pregnant is like rehab
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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