Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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