If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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