he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
