the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize
