You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
