Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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