so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
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