So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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