69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
