theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
