Whatcha textin bout Willis?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
