Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Those nachos came to me in a dream
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
