I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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