You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
