called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
