you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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