and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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