we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
