I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
