So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
