brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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