ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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