know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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