You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize