I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
