her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
