I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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