So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
