he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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