Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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