Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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