Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
