No stitches, just platelets and will power
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
