you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
