um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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