matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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