dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
