Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
