i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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