I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
