just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
