i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
