is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
