We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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