and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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