i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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